Pokémon, Superstar
by CrunchOwl
Summary: Oneshot of MattXMello! Mello finds an embarrassing key to Matt’s past. Find out what happens when they fight over it! War rages on... sexily ;D contains references from Pokémon and the Bible


**CrunchOwl and ByoByo here! This is our first co-authored story and we hope you like it!**

**DISCLAIMER: Beware of crack! Also, we don't own Deathnote, gosh darn it! D:**

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_Jesus Christ! It's you and me  
I know it's my destiny,  
Jesus Christ! Oh you're my best friend  
In a world we must defend  
Jesus Christ! A heart so true  
Our courage will pull us through,_

_You'll teach me and I'll teach you,  
Jeeee-suuuus Christ! Gotta convert'em all!_

Mello stared blankly at the tv in front of him; a stream of drool trickled down his chin. He had discovered Matt's darkest secret; the Wammy's Nativity Christmas play where Matt was the leading role, Mary. The thing that scarred Mello the most was that it was the Pokémon rendition of the birth of Christ.

Mello heard Matt walk into the room and he had two boxes of takeout in his hand. Mello's head slowly turned towards Matt's face, which was gasping in horror at the sight of the embarrassing memory playing on the television.

"What the hell," Mello gasped at the redhead who was still staring in horror. "When did this happen?"

"Turn that off!" Matt screamed in terror. "Now!"

Mello smirked, stepping toward the VCR and took out the video which was tucked away firmly into back of his pants. "I like this video," he said, still smirking, "it moved me to tears." Mello burst into utter laughter.

Matt was furious. He didn't hesitate one second because he knew this was potentially dangerous for his reputation. He chucked the takeout at Mello's head. Spaghetti exploded all over the room.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Mello yelled. He took a handful of spaghetti and chucked it back at the gamer.

Matt had another box of food in his hand so of course, he threw it as hard as possible. Salad and bleu cheese blasted all over the blond. Mello's frown was adamant.

"This means war!" Mello grumbled. He ripped out the gun from his pocket and fired six, loud, and violent shots in Matt's direction. (which the bullets missed, of course, Fangirls!)

"Oh my God!" Matt was shaking. "Why?"

Mello replied simply, "I'm pissed off and you ruined my hair." Mello glimpsed down at his gun. "Don't worry, it's empty."

Matt sighed with relief. "Well in that case…" and Matt ran into the kitchenette for the fridge, the place where unlimited supplies of mashed-potatoes, gravy, chocolate, and milk existed.

"Shit," Mello moaned.

And with that last word, the apartment turned into pure chaos. The most intense food war in all of Japan was raging right there, right in that apartment. Soda fizzing, gravy flying, chocolate sauce and sprinkles squirting, and everything else liquid in this fine world were being used brutally for artillery.

The food fight came to a screeching halt when there was nothing left to throw. The walls were dripping with chicken and barbeque sauce, ice cream was melting off of the counters, and a soup of coke and 'taters were pooling on the floor.

A moment of silence was all that separated the two, furious friends. But Mello decided to break the calm.

"That was hot," Mello said.

"Totally," and the two leapt toward each other. Mello was sucking viciously at Matt's neck. Moans were sounding through every inch of the apartment complex.

Mello's foot slipped on a potato and the two fell into the pool of slime.

Their arms and legs were tangled together, just like that plate of spaghetti. Mello broke the series of plunger and sucking noises to say one last thing before they proceed any further.

"Hey, Matt," Mello panted.

"Yeah?" Matt breathed deeply.

"About that video," Mello smiled, "I already made copies and sent it to Near over a week ago."

Matt's eyes ripped open like a mad cow with Rabies. "FUCK! YOU'RE GONNA DIE, BITCH!"

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**We hoped you enjoyed it because we sure did! xD**

**Now I'm gonna give you the standard message: read and review. **

**Hurrah ;3**


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